Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
