my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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