just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
