Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
