why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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