3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Who died my cat blue again?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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