Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
