"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
