you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
