My nipple is on Facebook.
so explain again why im purple
no
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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