you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Someone signed my nipple.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
