literally had 100 drinks last night.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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