Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize