I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
