so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
