There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
