I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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