I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
