At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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