Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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