You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
