Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
