you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
