If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
