nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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