I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
