dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
