toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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