dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
