i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
