i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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