your parents love me but you hate me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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