Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize