so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
