"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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