I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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