just come out here and I will go home with you...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
