I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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