i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
