Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
