i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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