There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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