I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
