I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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