we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize