I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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