i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
