Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize