My room smells like vodka and shame
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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