remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
