im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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