Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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