I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
