Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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