BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
