I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
