feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
