so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
