Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
