I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
