my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
