I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
