I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize