do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize