Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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