I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
