stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
