She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
