I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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